If you stop learning, you start dying. A little bit at a time. Not super noticeable at first, but eventually it’ll kill you.
I think I’ve gotten lazy lately. Not, like, super lazy… but kinda lazy. I haven’t been learning very much. Yes, yes, I’m still playing the viola, and I’m still learning, still getting better, so that’s good. But in terms of work projects—learning new techniques and tools and ways to create the work that I have to produce… I haven’t done any of that in a while now. There’s so much going on, that it’s easy to just say, “later”. I’ll learn that later. I’ll try that later. I’ll do that later.
But “later” never really gets here.
Sometimes at work, when someone asks me to do something, and I just start doing it right then, they seem baffled for a minute. I’ve told people before that there are two times I do things, and I can either do it “right now”, or “not at all”. While that’s a little bit exaggerated, it’s really not *that* much of a stretch. How many things do I feel like I’m kind of, sort of, maybe planning to do, possibly in a month, maybe in 6 months, maybe next year?
It’s a lot. And I think it’s time for me to take stock of those things, count them all up, maybe write them on papers, pick the one (or two) that I’m going to do RIGHT NOW, and then rip up all the rest and free myself from the “could’ve would’ve should’ve”. It’s not like I won’t have ideas later, about what I should be, could be, maybe might be wanting to do later. If it’s a good idea, it will come back. But I think tonight I’m going to release myself from the guilt, and get back the focus that comes from having real projects and goals that I’m working on RIGHT NOW.