55NoN. Movie the third: Career Opportunities.

Not just one 80s roller-skating montage, but TWO. Two 80s roller-skating montages. There are other, non-rollerskating-related 80s montages too. You like a good 80s montage? This movie is just full of ’em. The primary setting is a Target store, in the middle of the night. Jennifer Connelly has a thin, thin tank top in this film. Also in this film: a chicken leg dipped & twisted into a jar of peanut butter. Maybe an image I’ll never forget.

This movie is a little like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but with a less likable hero, and a less solid plot. It starts off with the main character getting fired from (yet another) job. You get the idea he loses jobs a lot. So he gets a new job as the “night cleanup boy” at Target, and you think it’s going to be a scene at the Target, and then maybe move on… after he loses this job, too. But no. It just… stays there. At the Target. For the rest of the movie. So about halfway through, you realize this, and settle in to the idea of staying at the Target for the whole movie, thinking to yourself, “Okay, we’re in a kind of coming-of-age film now. They’re going to have some solid character development inside the Target, and maybe have a nice kiss at the end, or sleep together with some 80s music in the background. Probably with saxophones.”

And then the greasy gun-toting, semi-incompetent thieves arrive. (?) How they got into the store is not explained… since previously there was a plot point about how the main character was LOCKED INSIDE the Target and COULD NOT GET OUT. What they’re doing inside the store is also unclear. Are they just there to steal things? If so, why are they wasting time messing around with the two people who are inside this store? Why not just tie them up, or kill them? Instead, they interact with them. Probably because Jennifer Connelly is impossibly hot.

Anyway, I give this movie 5-1/2 stars. Mostly enjoyable.

Musical high point: A rich, languid electric guitar & strings motif while he smokes a cigar while sitting in a Target lawn chair.

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