Monthly Archives: December 2008


I just had the loveliest, juiciest, sweetest, tastiest orange.  Oooh, it was good.  Sweet, but tangy.  It made my mouth water.  And now my hands smell like orange.   Really good fruit makes me feel happy to be alive.

It reminds me of a pear I had years ago.  I was 15 years old, sitting on the step outside the cafeteria at Silverado High School in Las Vegas.  The sun was shining, it was about 10:45 a.m. I think, because the light from the sun was still morning light, fresh and crisp, not the glaring light of desert noontime.  This pear.  I bit into it, and the juice would have run down my chin, except I tipped my head.  It was sweet and delicious… not at all grainy the way pears sometimes can be.  It wasn’t squishy either, though.  It was perfect.  I’ve never had a better pear, in any of the 14 years since then.  I wonder though, now that I’m older, whether the memory is a true memory.  I wonder if I have had better pears, but because this pear is in my mind, shrined in a holy light as the “best pear I’ve ever had”, if no other pear will ever be able to compare.  Because here’s the thing. This pear, the best pear I’ve ever had, it’s not a real pear anymore.  It’s a memory (ceci n’est pas une pear). It’s hard for real things to compare with memories.

In any case, my orange today was brilliant. A succulent masterpiece of creation… and I feel privileged to have had the experience of eating it.

Sometimes, it’s easier to just give them a fish.

I hear this all the time. “You can give them a fish, or you can teach them to fish…” You know. That anecdote – if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, etc. etc.

I was on the phone today for about 25 minutes trying to teach someone to fish. But I think, in retrospect… this might have been a time to just toss it to ’em and be done with it.

How long do you let them sit there, throwing around the fishing pole, sticking it up their nose, putting it in a tree, trying to light it on fire, before you just throw them the freaking fish already? No, that’s not a rhetorical question. I want to hear your answers. Examples pls kthx bye.

In Dreams.

“When the seas and mountains fall,
and we come to end of days,
In the dark I hear a call…
Calling me there.”

I had a dream. In my dream, I was floating down a river of crystal-blue water, surrounded by huge, verdant trees. In between the stretches of trees, there were caves. As I floated into the caves, the water would glow blue-green under my feet, which were creamy white. My hair was wet, but my face was dry… and as I floated onward, through this twisting mystic landscape, full of light and life and shade – he was there with me, intermittently holding my hand, and letting it go.